by Ken Hurley
False beliefs can be every bit as consoling as true ones, right up until the moment of disillusionment. – Richard Dawkins
Seeking first to understand isn't about who's right or wrong; it is a philosophy of effective communication. – Richard Carlson
Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it. – Leo Tolstoy
It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. – Lemony Snicket
The news is glorified gossip. – Mokokoma Mokhonoana
Today, I got up on the wrong side of the bed. Got off on the wrong foot. Got the wrong end of the stick. Barked up the wrong tree. Left the wrong impression. Made a wrong turn. Went one way the wrong way. Found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Where I figured out what’s wrong with my brain. On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
One day I met my young friend Miggy as he paced up and down the sidewalk and was obviously distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned. I asked, "What's wrong, Miggy?" He said, "I'm distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned. Today is the 2nd day of the 2nd month in 2022 and I just turned 22 so I placed a bet and put $2,222 on the second horse in the second race of the day to win. "Ok, Miggy. So what's wrong?" "The horse came in second."
Right and wrong are perpetual and oftentimes frustrating balancing acts that pervade nearly every aspect of our lives, requiring contemplation and self-reflection. From our daily interactions with others to matters of ethics and morality, the line between right and wrong can be as blurry as Mr. J. Quincy Magoo's vision, and subject to interpretation. The complexities of determining what is right and wrong are evident in personal relationships, politics, our courts, healthcare, sports, nearly everywhere. How we admit when we are wrong, and what we do about it, speaks to our character. So, is there a right way to be wrong?
Since the beginning of thought, the question of ascertaining a clear difference between right and wrong has perplexed philosophers, thinkers, non-thinkers, and the rest of us. Our moral compass, similar to the compass the Scouts use only with a moral north star, engages our reasoning abilities, values, beliefs, and cultural context; yet sometimes, when we are wrong, we feel guilt, regret, shame, and downright awful when our wrongdoings or poor decisions are injurious to ourselves or others.
Our actions have consequences that may be judged as right or wrong based on their outcomes. For example, Oskar Schindler, a member of the Nazi Party, prioritized saving Jewish lives during the Holocaust, even while risking his own prosperity and life. Schindler's moral compass was oriented towards something greater than his political party ideology. His actions challenged the prevailing notions of right and wrong in Nazi Germany. The consequences of his actions proved Mr. Schindler to be right.
One of the most influential frameworks for understanding right and wrong is found in the nebulous philosophical concept of ethics, which seeks to define the line between good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice and crime, Tom and Jerry, Ben and Jerry, Bruce and Catlin, and more. Is there a right way to be wrong, is a philosophical query that can be answered, nope. Or, it depends. Or, of course! And end it there. Thank you. And good night.
However, there are way too many thoughts, free or other, regarding "right," "wrong," and self-reflection, especially after one realizes one’s own transgressions or errors. So, I'll persevere with the hope I'm not wrong. And if I am wrong, who really cares? Or rather, I hope to find a way to offer an acceptable apology beyond "Oops, my bad."
Typically, we strive to do the best we can with all life brings our way. When we fall short of our best, we try again until we get it right. Or as close to right as time and effort allow. The notion of making mistakes is often viewed unfavorably. The transformative and redemptive power of acknowledging and embracing our mistakes may be essential to minimize those awful feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. On balance, if our decision-making is more favorable than wretched, we're probably doing just fine on the right/wrong barometer.
To truly grasp the concept of a right way to be wrong, we must recognize the paradoxical nature of making mistakes. While errors are often perceived as negative and undesirable, they also provide invaluable opportunities for growth, transformation, and critical self-reexamination.
Thomas Edison's quote, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work,” is a good reminder that errors are not the end, but the beginning of a journey toward success. He also famously said, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."
The ability to accept responsibility for our mistakes is an essential component of learning and growth. For example, if the manager at The Lazy-A Canteen makes a poor decision that negatively impacts his team or customers, he may lose his job if he does not acknowledge his mistake, apologize, and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation. By accepting responsibility, one fosters an environment of trust and transparency. This creates an opportunity for growth and improvement which demonstrates one "right" way to be wrong.
In Dostoevsky's novel, Crime and Punishment, the protagonist, Raskolnikov, murders and then steals from his victims. He views himself as an extra-special, extraordinary man, therefore he feels he could commit any crime, even murder, and walk away from it without any sense of guilt, shame, or regret. Reminds me of President 45. However, unlike 45, as the consequences of his actions begin to unfold, he gradually recognizes the wicked error of his ways. His subsequent ethical transformation and genuine remorse exemplify another "right" way to be wrong. Raskolnikov embarks on a path of redemption and personal growth, ultimately accepting responsibility for his crime and seeking atonement. Although he does get eight years of hard labor in Siberia.
In Harper Lee's, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch illustrates another "right" way to be wrong. As a lawyer, who defends an innocent black man against racial prejudice in deeply segregated Alabama, he embodies virtues such as empathy, courage, and integrity. Atticus's unwavering commitment to justice reflects the internal dispositions that distinguish right from wrong, despite the immense criticism and adversity he faces. His commitment to justice serves as a powerful testament to the idea that doing the right thing is sometimes synonymous with being considered wrong by the majority.
Spike Lee's 1989 film, Do the Right Thing, depicts how dead wrong human tensions, poor communication, and violent struggles can be when people fail to do the right thing.
Another compelling example is the Disney animated feature, The Lion King. Simba, the young lion who flees after believing he is responsible for his father's death, spends years living in self-imposed exile. However, through the guidance of his wise mentors and a series of introspective realizations, Simba learns to accept responsibility for his past actions. By returning to his pride and challenging the tyrannical reign of his uncle Scar, Simba ultimately embodies the "right" way to be wrong. He embraces his mistakes, takes responsibility for his role, and strives to make amends for the betterment of his community.
Sometimes our mistakes are met with a shrug and the admonition, "Whoops, I goofed." Other times our blunders are so serious that we must let others know we screwed up. Then accept our errors as our own, thereby offering opportunities for growth, transformation, and redemption. There is worthy significance when we recognize our wrongdoings, accept responsibility, offer authentic apologies to those we've hurt, and actively seek personal growth. By embracing our mistakes, we gain indispensable insights into our flaws, beliefs, and values, which ultimately aid us in becoming better versions of ourselves. To admit when we are wrong necessitates humility and empathetic courage to reassess our actions. To adhere to a "right" way to be wrong necessitates recognizing the inherent potential in our mistakes. Our ability to navigate the intricate gray areas between right and wrong allows us to grow as individuals and contribute positively to a more just and compassionate society. (Cue the Gospel Choir crescendo.)
One more thought from the old leaky thought bucket, me. Suppose you are wrongly the subject of negative whispers and rumors or misinformed gossip that has unfairly tarnished your spotless stellar reputation. Or suppose you discover that your beloved superstar idol is only one more disillusioned flawed human stumbling around the planet. Or suppose you were raised religiously, and it suddenly dawns on you that religions need fictitious fabrications to keep their brand alive. Or suppose you awake one day on the right side of the bed with a burning urge to funk your angst.
Each scenario can create a sense of being distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned, when positive assumptions or deeply held beliefs are shattered. Disillusionment can create a confused, disconnected, lost feeling. Last I checked, 113% of people with actual feelings don't like that. We know some people create and spread disinformation with the intent to deceive and hurt people. A twinge of schadenfreude may even swell within. That's wrong. Others spread misinformation and gossip who may not know the information is false. That's lazy and wrong. It is important to verify first. But if you're the subject of malevolent gossip that you'd like to correct it is equally important to confirm your suspicion before wagging the long finger of indignation which regrettably, too often, points directly towards alienation. Fact-check the information yourself. Then politely grok, that's right, grok (a nostalgic bit of fustian flummery), grok as best you can, a perspicacious perspective. Show gentle strength. If that doesn't ameliorate the situation, you can always do what many juveniles do — never speak to that person again. Ostracizing behavior is what quitters do and is akin to revenge, which is also wrong and reminds me of what Mohandas Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind."
Hope all this chit-chat doesn't rub you the wrong way. On second thought, perhaps there really isn't a "right" way to be wrong. Only a preferred way; but maybe I'm wrong. And, if deemed as such by the gentle reader, what say you?
Send comments be they right or wrong to kenhurley88@gmail.com
