Category: Uncategorized

Ken Hurley

Usha knew the Council heavily edited her second submission and completely rejected her first. But she persisted as she stood looking over the podium draped with an embroidery of a gold crucifix and an American flag.
      She gazed across the full house of disgruntled people from the community. Each waiting their turn to complain to Council about whatever was on their mind, including: Crumbled sidewalks, banned books, improper names of schools, statues in the park, proposed new parks, proposed new taxes, barking dogs, chickens in a backyard, who is woke, who is not woke, and who is "totally dope." The right for Council to pursue Christian values, the “tyranny” of mask mandates, the “sexualization of children," and who gets to use which restroom are always popular gripes. 
      A disheveled woman who looked like she was still in her pajamas was eager to thank the Council “for trying to bring our god-given freedom back.” A young man wanted to thank the Council for standing against the "evil, godless, liberal, forces of darkness." While a man on crutches wanted to read from Isaiah: “Be not dismayed, for I am your God … I will uphold you with my righteous hand." The citizenry were ready to grumble about any issue that can be squeezed into their allotted time of three minutes each. 
      As Usha looked at the crowd she nervously fumbled to switch the Council approved version of her submission with the version she really wanted to deliver. She slowly exhaled a deep breath and began mustering her best impression of a Sergeant at Arms as she bellowed, "All rise!" The audience and Council stood.
      "Please bow your heads." They bowed. She paused for effect while people inspected their shoes and Usha wondered if her request was grammatically only directed toward people with more than one head. Focus, she told herself. 
      "Just kidding." She admonished with a cherub grin. "You don't have to bow. But as long as you're standing, let's take this moment to be reminded that a typical invocation seems mostly grandstand theater masquerading as a pandering prayer for political constituents."
     Some people must have been listening. They raised eyebrows,
looked around at each other, each with a quizzical look that screamed, "Huh?"
     Usha felt judgmental eyes upon her but continued, "Witness the oversized ego a listener must endure when a politician decides to become a self-appointed spokesperson for their god."
     The audience muttered softly as they shuffled in place. Members of Council scowled, crossed their arms and shook their heads as Usha pressed on, "The invocation of the name God seems to be at the whim and fancy of just about everyone. Everyone but Freethinkers!" Her oration was loud.
     "Those who claim to speak in the name of God often use their platform to spew their perceptions as a strategy to serve partisan, religious, political, or personal agendas. The invocation of God’s name has been cited as the source of justification for slavery, anti-Semitism, anti-LGBTQIA equality, genocide, jihad, caliphate, terrorism, racism, what a woman may or may not do with her body, and lots more."
      An older gray bearded man who did not remove his red MAGA baseball cap and sported a misspelled tattoo "Freedumb" across his throat, gnashed his upper tooth against his lower gum as his right burley-knuckled fist slowly began to punch his left palm. 
     "Should we presume that those who would call themselves God’s spokespersons believe that it was God who decreed eternal inequality for women? That it was God who mandated the inequities of slavery? That it was God who called for the execution of gays?" 
     The left palm of the "Freedumb" MAGA guy had enough, clenched into a fist, and began to pummel his right palm.
      "Supporters of divine law take their authority from their respective holy texts. Yet these same misguided supporters will often apologize for the horrible and deadly interpretations of the so-called 'holy texts' claiming they were misreadings of God’s true will." 
      The "Freedumb" MAGA guy was grunting as loud as a pig at a barbecue. He was now thumb-wrestling with himself as veins in his neck bulged while his face grew red as his hat.
      Usha turned and looked directly at Council and spoke in a near whisper, "It is the humans. Not a human imagined god. The humans are to blame for the immoralities of slavery, anti-Semitism, genocide, racism, xenophobia, misogyny,  terrorism and other atrocities. However, humans must also be credited with the hundreds of morally elevating laws and good works."
      The crowd began to "shhhh" the "Freedumb" MAGA guy who was snorting guttural sounds and rolling on the floor as his left and right hands brutally fought each other.
      Usha scanned the crowd who's curled lips and hostile glares were a sign she wouldn't be asked out for a drink later.
      "Humans must continue to change laws and moralistic views so we each have a similar opportunity to enjoy life as we determine. Humans are responsible for a healthy, safe, prosperous, worldview that seeks growth, creativity, innovations, peace on earth, and a better more inclusive authentic community. Our responsibilities toward each other must not be obfuscated by narrow-minded partisan religious views."
     The "Freedumb" MAGA guy was flopping like a flounder on the floor as both fists began to clobber his large hairy belly that protruded below his sweat-stained Q-shirt.
     "In our diverse world where too many people claim to know (imaaagine, I should say) what god wants; and where there is no consensus about who or what is god, nor a methodology for discerning what god wants; nor any reliable reason to accept the malinformation proffered by the self-appointed spokespersons for god; god should not be so easily invoked as the source of our civil rights, our moral direction, the reasons natural weather events occur, or how Council must govern."
      A loud raspberry sound was heard throughout the room as the Council Leader plopped down in his oversized leather throne-like seat and swiveled his back toward Usha in disgust.
      She again looked directly at Council with the intensity of a rock climber searching for the next step, "It is the 21st century, yet we still smugly deny each other rights, benefits, privileges, and kill each other in the name of a god." She paused and spoke slowly. "You arrogant pablum-spewing prigs."
     The crowd gasped.
     "Maybe in the 22nd century, we’ll learn to love each other in the name of humanity. Let's begin tonight by asking Council members to reconsider their representative role for all people and rethink how to better serve the 'We' in 'We the People' of our community."
      Usha concluded with a hopeful tone as sirens wailed close by, "We can and should do better." 
      EMT's arrived and loaded the beat-up, bruised, and bloody "Freedumb" MAGA guy on a stretcher as the Council leader swiveled around in anger, banged his gavel, but missed the table and smashed his knee cap. 
      Usha left the room with a renewed yet sad but true enough realization in which people tend to believe whatever supports their worldview.
      Another EMT siren approached so the EMT's could care for the Council Leader who writhed in agony and repeatedly yelled, "Ow ow ow, god dammit! Jesus. God daaamnit!"
     

Ken Hurley

Peace is not something you wish for; it's something you make, something you do, something you are, and something you give away.  – John Lennon (10/9/1940 – 12/8/1980)

When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace.  – Jimi Hendrix  (11/27/1942 – 9/18/1970)

IF ONLY THE RAPTURE were a reality, then the rest of us humans might have a better chance at external peace, after the Christian Nationalists have been joyfully sucked off the planet. Then I remember that wars and other external conflicts are not all religious. Anyone remember the first, second, or third Punic War? What a mess.
      There are wars of independence, border wars, proxy wars, civil wars, invasions, jihads, cold wars, hot wars, lukewarm wars — of which each can be said, “War is not healthy for children and other living things.” A slogan coined by Another Mother for Peace, Lorraine Schneider, in opposition to the Vietnam war.
      The word ‘peace’ is derived from the Latin word ‘pax,’ which means a pact, or an agreement to end war or any dispute or conflict between  people, nations, or other antagonistic groups of humans.
      Generally, peace is classified into two types: internal peace and external peace.
      "Inner peace" is peace of the mind and body. It is a state of calm, serenity, and tranquility that arises when one is not suffering or in mental crisis such as worry, anxiety, greedy desires, hatred, ill-will, delusion, or other troubling human aspects of life. Internal peace is peace within oneself. When one lives a life filled with inner peace, one is less likely to support wars and other external conflicts.
      According to Lao Tzu‘s famous saying: 
If there is to be peace in the world,
there must be peace in the nations.
If there is to be peace in the nations,
there must be peace in the cities.
If there is to be peace in the cities, there must be peace between neighbors.
If there is to be peace between neighbors,
there must be peace in the home.
If there is to be peace in the home, there must be peace in the heart.

Peace is a state of tranquility, calm, repose, quietness, harmony, friendship, amity, concord, friendly relationships, public order, pacification, spiritual content, reconciliation, serenity, security, social justice, and bliss. Did I miss something?
      Jetsun Jamphel Ngawang Lobsang Yeshe Tenzin Gyatso, also known as Tenzin Gyatso; aka, Lhamo Thondup; known to the Tibetan people as Gyalwa Rinpoche; and you know him as the incumbent Dalai Lama, said, “Peace, in the sense of the absence of war is of little value . . . peace can only last where human rights are respected, where people are fed, and where individuals and nations are free.” 
      “True peace is not merely the absence of tension: It is the presence of justice.” said Rev. Martin Luher King, Jr.
      According to Albert Einstein‘s view, “Peace is not merely the absence of war but the presence of justice, of law, of order – in short, of  government.”
      Justice is the concept of moral rightness based on ethics, rationality, laws, fairness, or equity. Justice concerns itself with the proper ordering of things and people within a society. In America, justice is a process, not necessarily a result. When justice fails it can lead to civil disobedience, civil unrest, and civil war. In the words of Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr. “Without justice, there can be no peace.” 
      Peace is a lofty goal or hope that most people claim they wish to achieve personally, and expect to be created in society and throughout the world. The history of humans is  a history of searching for ways to achieve lasting peace. Peace has been talked about, thought about, taught, studied, and even scoffed at.  
      A culture of peace is one where the definition of security will have changed from just national security to include human security, human rights, justice, and general welfare of people everywhere.
      We do not teach peace well. Yet we have plenty of military schools that teach how to wage war. We do have The Peace Corps, which seeks to promote world peace and friendship by helping interested countries in meeting their need for trained productive people. The Peace Corps promotes a better understanding of Americans on the part of the people served, and promotes a better understanding of other people on the part of Americans. A true cultural and educational interchange. The Peace Corps principles seek intercultural competence, diversity, equity, inclusion, and accessibility, which lend well to its name.
      There are plenty of other organizations that work toward peace, including the World Peace Council and the United Nations. 
      Religions, such as most Christian denominations, offer a confusing, rocky path toward peace. The Prince of Peace said, “Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division. From now on there will be five in one family divided against each other, three against two and two against three.” Luke 12:51. And, in Matthew 10:34, “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to earth.” And, “He who is not with me is against me.” (Luke 11:23). Sounds like President 45, whom the Christian Nationalists love and desperately need to agree with because they imagine a VIP ticket to Club Afterlife. It's not even their own imagination. They were told at some point in their life there is an afterlife. They choose to believe it, despite all evidence to the contrary. When I'm asked, “Is there life after death?” I answer, “Yes. Just not yours.”
      To understand the complexities of seeking peace within the context of religious beliefs, one need only to look at the history of the Crusades, or all the trouble in the “Holy Land,” or the subversive Christians in American government, to see how religious fanaticism is used to justify discord, unpleasant outcomes, and violent conquests. 
      However, there are the Quakers who have often led the way toward many peace efforts. They have helped establish some of the earliest peace conciliations and conflict transformation programs. Quakers reject elaborate religious ceremonies, do not have official clergy, and believe in equality for men and women. They reject violence and embrace active pacifism. 
     Why is peace so difficult? It is the humans. It's always the humans. We are the source of conflict, wars, internal strife, and injustice. All of which arise from our innate and powerful instinct to survive and then, hopefully, thrive. The pursuit of peace is thwarted by our fundamental need for self-preservation, often cloaked within self-righteous religion. Too many humans get grumpy or worse when things don't go their way.
      Inner peace is tranquility of the mind and body and is often at odds with external peace, which is the harmony of societies and nations. At the heart of this disparity lies the innate human instinct of survival, a primal force that has shaped the course of history and continues to influence our actions and decisions.
      Ever get angry at someone who disturbs the peace? Ever shoosh a talker in a movie theater? Not easy nor pleasant to keep the peace. 
      The quest for external peace needs to begin with inner peace. Yet, external peace is hampered by the destructive impact of wars, driven by human aggression, desire for retaliation, a need for control, dominance, greed, and resources; spurred by political ideologies, religiosity, economic interests, and deep-rooted historical grievances,
and a want of perceived security. 
      Inner peace is constantly  challenged. Ever have to politely deal with aggressive drivers, losing your parking spot, open-mouth loud chewers, interrupters, humblebragging, loud talkers,  mumblers, long-winded non-stop talkers, gunfire in your neighborhood, intimidating or otherwise irritating people? To name a few nuisances that make booze so popular. 
      Suppose your loved one was kidnapped or killed during the never-ending middle east crisis? This would likely shatter all hope for inner peace and replace it with inner turmoil. 
      The peacemakers tend to have a great capacity to absorb the ill-will of others and gently redirect the vitriol hurled at them inwardly. Even the best peacemakers have their limit, when their capacity to absorb becomes saturated. Yet, there are those who will give up their life to save another. 
       Social injustices and systemic inequalities are forces that sow discord and unrest within humans who seek harmony and peaceful coexistence. Amidst these challenges there exists a glimmer of hope that the path towards peace is worth walking. Hope is found in the courage of individuals who dare to confront their inner demons, in the resilience of communities that rise above adversity, and in the vision of leaders who champion the cause of reconciliation and understanding.
      The harmonious coexistence of individuals, societies, and nations, is a pursuit that continues to evade humanity; despite its universal desirability, peace remains elusive and difficult to attain unless we learn to transcend our instincts.
      Ever wonder what peace smells like? Take a whiff. Do you smell peace? If not, find a newborn or  lavender, vanilla, cinnamon, peppermint, ambrette, ylang-ylang, ginger, or your loved one. Inhale. Slowly. Relax. Shalom. Salaam. Peace.

Ken Hurley

YOKI WAS AN obstreperous, peripatetic pococurante whose effulgent skulduggery was rivaled only by his baffo, pugnacious, froward buddy named Yap, whose babble could mesmerize the most seasoned blatherskite. Together they made a great flim-flam partnership. They enjoyed the swindle. 
      One fine day, Yoki and Yap decided they would start their own religion, claiming to all who would listen that for only $29.95 you would be guaranteed a place in the glorious Heavenly Hideaway. But wait, there's more! For only six easy payments of $69 you'll receive a cushy seat at the big gilded aurous table very close to the Lord of Kings. They called their religion, “We're Right!” Their television commercials were so fast and furiously loud, they made Crazy Eddie and Earl Scheib look like they were Marlo Thomas asking for donations to help unfortunately ill  children get well.
    To impress the naive and gullible, Yap would spitfire her huckster auctioneer tripe while Yoki would bend silver spoons with his supernatural powers or move a pencil across the table without touching it. They would pass the Fedora, take a collection of moolah, and scat to the next town before anyone got wise. 
      In a town down the road was a young boy who marveled at how smooth Yoki and Yap were. He decided that he too could enchant, charm, and make a fast cool living if he claimed to have paranormal psychic powers and learned how to bend spoons and slide pencils. He's known to the world as Uri Geller. 
      But as fate would have it, Uri, Yoki, and Yap encountered one of the most joyous debunkers ever, who, despite his renowned skepticism, had little trouble believing in himself.
      Randall James Hamilton Zwinge known to the world as James Randi, became famous for scientific debunking of false claims of supernatural psychic extrasensory perceptions. He considered himself an investigator of charlatans, frauds, and other pretentious wacky quacks. 
    At a meeting where Randi was effortlessly yet impressively duplicating the performances of Uri Geller, who was now a professor at the University at Buffalo and in the audience, Uri shouted out that Randi James is a fraud! Randi, with the flim-flam quality of Yap, but with a heap of truthiness, retorted quickly, "Yes, indeed, I'm a trickster, I'm a cheat, I'm a charlatan, that's what I do for a living. Everything I've done here was by trickery." The professor shouted back: "That's not what I mean. You're a fraud because you're pretending to do these things through trickery, but you're actually using psychic powers and misleading us by not admitting it." 
     And so, Uri's reputation as a spoon-bending, pencil-sliding psychic, was faltering right before his very eyes due to the skillful hands and clever but truthful mind of James Randi. 
     Yoki and Yap scooted from town once again and were never heard from again. 
     Uri's protest reminds me of a saying I learned in childhood, “I'm rubber, you're glue, whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you.” Which reminds me of President 45.
     Randi never claimed to have psychic powers. He enjoyed a long successful life as an entertaining prestidigitator who also wrote many books about magicians, conjuring, and the art of flim-flam. You might enjoy his 1980 book, Flim-Flam! Psychics, ESP, Unicorns, and Other Delusions.
      Meanwhile, there's nothing up my sleeve when I relay that Yoki and Yap are a curiosity courtesy of my recently renewed poetic license. 

###

   by Ken Hurley 

Methinks he doth think too much. Methinks he doth wait too much too.
     I have become good at waiting. It's not a skill. Everyone can wait. We're all waiting for what's next. I am still waiting to meet a politician who does not suffer from delusions of pander. 
      We wait for Ubers, buses, trains, planes, for food at restaurants, appointments at doctors, dentists, and lawyers. We wait to speak to customer service representatives, for birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays to celebrate with family and friends. We wait for Golda to stop playing the bagpipes. We wait to purchase items on sale. We wait in line. We wait for responses to emails, text messages, or phone calls. We wait for injuries and illnesses to heal, for a proposal from a significant other, for a paycheck or benefits to arrive. We wait for spring, summer, fall, or winter, babies to be born, for family members to return home from military service. We wait for a greater understanding that "family values" also means families different from yours. We wait for the release of new electronic gadgets, software, or games. We wait for wars to end. We wait for flowers to bloom. We wait for the downbeat. We wait for election results. We wait for our thoughts. We wait for the next pitch, serve, goal, hike, penalty clock to end. We wait for balanced budgets. We wait for our lives to improve. We wait for the punchline. We wait for a better understanding of people antithetical to our worldview. We wait for the weather to change and the sun to rise.
    We know time waits for no one.
    Yet there are many things we can not wait for. We have to accept certain ideas for society to work well. Let's accept the idea that government is run by people and can be a powerful force for good or bad, depending upon the people within the government. Government should not be a fearful notion that is done to us. Since the beginning of American government, people have squabbled over the form, size, and type of government we should embrace.
      Sometimes we wait for things that will never be. We wait for our ability to persuade those who call themselves conservatives to change their worldview. How many conservatives does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Conservatives are afraid of change even if it makes the world a brighter place. 
     Let's remember that conservatives have championed ideas that include: Slavery was necessary for a good economy, women must not have the right to vote, quality healthcare is a privilege not a right, the buggy whip industry must outlast the automobile industry, poll taxes are good to ensure only wealthy educated people can vote, people and dinosaurs coexisted, Creationism should be taught on par with Evolution in the public school science class, the Lord's Prayer must be recited every day in public schools, segregation is the way God intended people to live, redirecting funds from the public treasury to private religious schools is fair and reasonable, unregulated free markets benefit the wealthy, the "sanctity of life" is precious until you are born, and oil is more important than water. Immigration is only for your ancestors. Same-sex marriage is bad for all marriage. Ronald Reagan was the greatest President.
War profits are more important than peace austerity. Exclusiveness is better than inclusiveness.
      Conservatives claim "fiscal responsibility," yet their actions prove differently. Conservatives worked to elect Trump, twice. Maybe thrice? Too many conservatives disavow culpability for the actions of the deadly, seditious, blood-raged mob on January 6, 2021. Conservatives overturned Roe v. Wade, made abortions illegal across state lines, signed a six-week abortion ban into law, ended concealed weapons permits, banned gender-affirming care for trans youth, enjoy drag races but despise drag shows, expanded "Don't say gay" laws, blocked African American studies, banned books, banned teaching Critical Race Theory, and prohibited vaccine mandates. Conservatives deny global climate change, seek to end food assistance programs,
are fond of saying, "guns don’t kill people - people kill people," oppose embryonic stem cell research, scoff at the Paris Agreement, seek to ban Tik Tok, insist that Santa Claus must be white, enjoy the "War on Christmas," "The War on Woke," "The War on Couch Potatoes," and despicably wear AR-15 pins in Congress as they actively work against meaningful gun reform legislation.
      The list of ill-informed selfish me-isms regarding conservative thoughts and actions is regrettably long and seemingly endless. 
     Yet we wait for our actions to effect the social changes we seek. We wait for conservatives to change their mind and come to an agreement that being socially involved as we see it is good. We wait for conservatives to stop demonizing the word social. 
      We know we enjoy Social Security, Social Media, Social Networks, Social Studies, Social Services, Social Workers, Social Clubs. But beware of Social-ISM (cue Beethoven’s 5th). Conservatives enjoy their ability to be frightful.
     We wait for our fears to end. We wait for the big lies of conservatives to end. We wait for a better understanding that we are a socioeconomic blended society that seeks to use the best from each and make it better. We wait for more people to learn the word "Social" originates in Latin, whose main forms are Socius and Socii, which translates to "allies." The term "social” refers to society and its organization relative to the interaction of people regarding their collective co-existence, which includes Golda and her bagpipes.
      To be social is generally considered to be a good thing. For example, I remember fondly the days before social media when the joyful screams of feral children could be heard throughout the neighborhood. Ah, the good ol’ days when our unsupervised neighborhood rumpus offered a clamor in which mom and pop delighted, as long as the ruckus was outside. Even television public service announcements were needed to remind our parents they had children, "It's 10:00 pm. Do you know where your children are?"
      We wait for an acceptable understanding that liberalism embraces issues such as same-sex marriage, transgender rights,  reproductive and other women's rights, voting rights for all adult citizens, civil rights, environmental justice, universal healthcare, the abolition of capital punishment, and the right to a respectable standard of living.
      Liberals enacted Social Security, which has provided generations of Americans retirement benefits, and minimized poverty among the elderly. Conservatives seek to privatize or dismantle Social Security.
     Let's remember that conservatives fought against, and liberals fought for, the Interstate Highway System first proposed by Franklin D. Roosevelt, yet built by Dwight D. Eisenhower. The Interstate was a huge government project responsible for tremendous economic growth, and prosperity. 
      Liberals enacted the GI Bill, which enabled millions of Americans to get college educations. 
      Liberals championed labor laws, which ended child labor and crowded deadly sweatshops, provided a forty-hour work week, the right of employees to collectively bargain, overtime pay, and workplace safety. 
      Liberals recognize that foreign aid can be good, and enacted the Marshall Plan which helped rebuild Europe after WWII.
    Liberals enacted environmental laws, which helped clean our rivers and air. Conservatives seek to end the Environmental Protection Agency.
      Liberals enacted food safety laws, which help consumers know the food we buy is safe to eat. 
      Liberals recognize that healthcare should be a universal right, and enacted Medicare and Medicaid despite the cries of socialism from conservatives. 
      It was John F. Kennedy who challenged our space program to go to the moon, which provided lots of ancillary benefits for the people.
      It was also JFK who established one of America's greatest exports - the Peace Corps, which inspired thousands of Americans to ask what  they could do for their country.
      It was Barack Obama who worked toward universal healthcare by enacting the Affordable Healthcare Act, despite strong opposition from conservatives and more cries of socialism. 
       Liberal ideals guided the civil rights movement of the 1950s and 1960s. Americans who believe in freedom of opportunity can take inspiration from the life-and-death struggles of Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. and others. Conservatives fought against civil rights.
      Liberals fought for a universal public education system in which public schools are where every student, regardless of economic background, can be taught basic skills, knowledge, and citizenship. Conservatives fight against our public school system and have weakened it greatly despite state constitutions. 
      Liberals created the National Weather Service, Family Medical Leave, and National Public Radio. Public Broadcasting is how millions of children learned from Sesame Street, Mister Rogers, and more. Millions of adults continue to learn from shows like Nova and Frontline. 
     Liberals created product labeling and truth-in-advertising laws. Liberal legislation provided for improved public health, where government-funded water and sewage systems help ensure clean water and proper waste disposal. The National Institutes of Health and the Centers for Disease Control play an important part in maintaining national health and preventing epidemics, through research and vaccination programs, thanks to the liberals.
      Liberals seek to remove the AR-15 and other similar weapons from easy public access.
      Liberals are known to be progressive advocates of social justice and equality, and open to change. Conservatives are known to be regressive, believe in preserving the status quo, and take a cautious, if not reactionary approach to social, cultural, and societal changes.
     To be fair, both groups are politically active and participate in political campaigns and rallies. Both groups claim to care about the well-being of America. Both groups can have diverse opinions on various topics, depending on personal beliefs and experiences.
      Liberals and conservatives tend to have different views on social issues such as immigration, gun rights, marriage equality, healthcare, women's rights, military spending, and religion. Liberals tend to favor government involvement when it comes to social issues, while conservatives claim to believe in less government involvement. Let's remember government is supposed to be by the people and for the people.
      Have you ever known a liberal to be viewed as a Christian Nationalist? Have you known a conservative to be viewed as a Christian Nationalist?
      Remember, it was the late Rev. Pat Robertson, an American media mogul, 700 Club founder, political commentator, presidential candidate, and Southern Baptist minister, who advocated a conservative Christian ideology, claiming that Americans’ immorality and sinfulness were the causes of the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, 2001. He also said that liberal Protestants embody “the spirit of the Antichrist” and that feminism drove women to witchcraft. He believed that his prayers could change the direction of hurricanes.
      Conservatives are more likely to prioritize the military, and economic policies that help the aristocratic oligarchy with tax cuts that mostly benefit the wealthy and large corporations, and are a major contributor to the soaring national debt. While liberals make efforts to seek clarity, they're still capable of extreme judgments. Yet liberals tend to embrace science and cooperation, read books rather than ban them, respect others’ rights, focus more on the improvement of healthcare, education, civil rights, women's rights, police reform, affordable housing, and ways to effect a greater sense of world peace. Yet, each group looks at the other as the problem to be solved. 
      While we wait, let's wonder, when it comes to a reasonable understanding of how our governments should work best, if it is fair to say: conservatives are stingy, exclusive, and embrace a cataclysmic kakistocracy of inequality and prejudice that is founded upon obstruction, deception and lies, as told by ultracrepidarians; while liberals are generous and inclusive people who seek equity and equality, and struggle to remove prejudicial barriers and other obstacles that inhibit the pursuit of a meaningful life. 
      What are two things conservatives dislike? The way things are… and change.
     Meanwhile, we think, we act, and we wait for conservatives. 

Do you agree? Care to share your thoughts regarding good or bad things liberals and conservatives do? What are you waiting for? I invite your corrections, concerns, and well-wishes. kenhurley88@gmail.com 

###

Ken Hurley

I asked “Do you know what time it is?” Man looked at his watch and said, “3:36.” Two minutes later I asked the same man, “Do you know what time it is?” Man looked at his watch again and said, “3:38.” - personal observation 

You're supposed to enjoy every sandwich.  - Warren Zevon

ONE OF MY LIFE GOALS  has always been to have more time. More time to enjoy what being alive offers. At a young age I realized that for me to want more time as a goal, there must be conditions. Certainly, I do not want to spend any time in the slammer. Too late for that pipedream. One day I may share my experiences hitchhiking around America when I was 17 and my brief time in the pokey.
      So, I revised my goal to want more quality time. Today, I realize if I cannot get a time extension on my life, say another healthy three hundred years or so, then my goal is to figure out a way for the allotted time I have to move more slowly in an enjoyable way. I understand that the passage of time is relative. If you have ever spent time with certain relatives, then maybe you've discovered how to slow time. But, is it enjoyable?
      We humans are bound by the unchangeable trajectory of time. Are there any strategies we can employ to perceive time differently allowing us to appreciate each rapidly passing moment in a way that makes the good moments last longer? 
     So I followed a powerful suggestion by eating “... one of those squat, plump little cakes called ‘petites madeleines,’ which look as though they had been molded in the fluted valve of a scallop shell.” As Marcel Proust describes them, and made them forever popular in his epic work, In Search of Lost Time, aka Remembrance of Things Past. My memories were jogged just by entering the bakery of my childhood.
      The madeleine biscuit is a bit larger than a walnut yet soft and spongy, with a quality and potential to stir powerful memories of things past. I had my first madeleine biscuit as a child, brought home by my mom from Hofstetter's Bakery.  You may have memories that rise from a bakery too. Maybe, a proper seven-layer cake? My mother, who I am certain had no knowledge of Proust, unwittingly created memories for me that I now realize help slow time.
      Living within the reality of memories (distorted or other) evoked through the senses by the humble tea-soaked madeleine (mom's preference Orange Pekoe) helps time move more slowly. So, later in life, I bought a box of madeleine biscuits each week for a month and journeyed through fond memories triggered by relishing a madeleine biscuit immersed in Orange Pekoe. This sort of deep mental and emotional involvement in sensations and memories seems to allow for an expansion of time. As it turns out, good memories can encourage a profound appreciation for the present moment. After a while though, the delight of the madeleine biscuit turned into a displeasurable belly ache. So I tried Melba Toast. But I couldn't find any fond memories to help me slow time.
      There is a phenomenon known as the "flow state," introduced by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. (Please repeat his name out loud.) When individuals are fully engaged in an activity that challenges their skills and immerses their attention, they enter a state of flow where they lose track of time. This happens to me when I sit at a piano to compose or play. Or when I hike, write lyrics, poems, or short stories, or doodle. Or when I write what you're reading now. You're likely wondering will this drivel ever end? See, time can move slowly! Anyway, I can get fully absorbed in a focused flow that seems to slow time. Or at least, make me unaware of how fast time truly is.
      The flow state is mindfulness which cultivates awareness of the present moment, discouraging preoccupation with past or future events. I'm told mindlessness does the same. Ignorance is bliss sort of thing. The focused flow state is different from the madeleine biscuits scenario. Self-awareness can anchor one's attention to the present, foster a deeper connection with lived experiences, which seems to me expands the perceived duration of time. 
      Cultivating mindfulness through practices such as meditation or mindful breathing can ground us in the present and enhance our awareness of time passing. By consciously noticing the finer details of our surroundings and sensations, we can engage more effectively with the present moment, leading to a more fulfilling experience of time. A good trick to slow time happens when you sit quietly with no external distractions and become aware of your breathing, heartbeats, and gentle thoughts. Sit with them for a while each day. Time enjoyably slows.
      Our perception of time is not solely governed by objective measurements such as a clock or stopwatch. After all, time is merely a human measurement of distance. Our perception of time is shaped by various cognitive and physiological factors.
      One factor is the "oddball effect." Looking at you, Schwammy! (It's actually a compliment.) The “oddball effect” explains how our perception of time can be distorted by unexpected or novel stimuli. We seek ways to break the mundane monotonous patterns of life. The introduction of an unexpected element, the "oddball," momentarily disrupts life’s predictable patterns, which helps create the illusion of time slowing down. A baseball pitcher and batter understood this well until MLB introduced the pitching time clock in 2023 to help speed the pitcher/batter interchange.
      Another phenomenon linked to physics and the psychological experience of time is called "time dilation." In situations of extreme danger or heightened emotions, individuals often recall the event as if it were occurring in slow motion, suggesting that this apparent alteration in time perception arises from an increased activation of the amygdala and other related brain mush, which allows for more detailed and vivid memories.
      One example from my real life is when I drove a taxicab as a part-time job in college. It was midnight and I had just dropped off my passengers at their motel. I was only one minute onto the desolate service road when I saw a car speeding toward me. I was hit head on by a drunk driver doing over 60 mph in a 25 mph zone. As our headlights got closer, just before they smashed, the dark night blindingly brightened until the boom of the crash caused everything to go dark again. My cab was spun around and was pushed 80 feet before it was stopped by a telephone pole. The dashboard collapsed onto my legs as my head crushed through the windshield. No seatbelt. Fortunately, a hard head. I remember my first words were not eloquent, “Oh, shit.” I couldn't open the door but the window was down so I climbed through the window. First thing I noticed, I could stand. That was a relief. Second thing I noticed was that it seemed like it was raining. But I could see stars. Actual stars in the sky! No clouds. I was confused. Next thing I noticed was that my cab was a mangled wreck. It took me a moment to locate the car that hit me. I found it but I couldn't see anyone inside. I couldn't open the doors. As I struggled to figure out what to do, other people arrived. One man came to me in an anxious state yelling, “I saw the whole thing. He ran a stop sign! Mister, are you ok?”  We stood face to face. I asked him, “Is it raining?” He said, “Mister,  that's your blood running down your face. You better sit down. You might faint.” Well, I didn't sit down. I didn't faint. The bright  headlights and “rainy” blood are vivid examples of psychological “time dilation.”
     The desire to slow down time is not mine alone. Which is why science explores the biological mechanisms that influence our perception of time. Our internal biological clock, known as the circadian rhythm, regulates our sleep-wake cycle and influences our perception of time. Disruptions to our circadian rhythm, such as jet lag, a newborn baby in the house, or unpredictable shift work, can distort our perception of time, making us feel that time has either accelerated or decelerated.
      Our perception of time is also influenced by how good we feel as determined by the level of dopamine in our brains. I don't want to waste time explaining that dopamine is a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, which plays a an important part in our perception of time. When dopamine levels are elevated, time seems to pass more quickly, while lower dopamine levels result in a slower perception of time. Turns out that I put the dope in dopamine. If I better understood the intricate relationship between dopamine and time perception, it might help me develop appropriate strategies to slow down time.
       The old adage, “Time flies when you're having fun," seems true. Although, perhaps, time moves at just the right pace. 
     Next time you find yourself needing to kill some time, give me a call. Perhaps, we can spend some time wisely trying to figure out how to slow time enjoyably.
###

 Reason
    -  Ken Hurley 

Think freely. Practice patience. Smile often. Forgive and seek forgiveness. … Feel deeply. Tell loved ones how you feel. … Be soft sometimes. Cry when you need to. Observe miracles.  - Charlie White, a 109 year old man

I'm trying to think, but nothing happens.  - Curly, a Stooge

Wondering what does it really matter whether or not our will is free, pre-determined, or some hybrid version, if the results of our thoughts and actions end in a similar reality-based outcome? Seems reasonable. One man's Reason is another woman's Crazy, even if it's a Willie Nelson song sung by Patsy Cline.
       It is especially challenging to determine what should be considered reasonable. We don't all agree on what is reasonable. That's one reason twelve jurors are summoned to determine if what happened should be considered reasonable. Beyond a reasonable doubt is a standard of proof required to validate a criminal conviction. Reasonable suspicion is used to determine the legality of a police officer's decision to perform a search.
     Many skeptics and other humanists believe they have a heightened sense of reason. That their baloney buzzer blasts if the evidence they are expecting to see does not reconcile with what was actually shown. The State of Missouri calls itself the "Show Me" state, as if they are the keepers of what might be considered reasonable after they've had a peek at whatever was shown to them.
      Reason is one of humanity's greatest advantages. It is the capacity for logical, critical, and analytical thinking that sets humans apart from other creatures. Without reason, we would remain unphased by the consequences of our actions and lose our ability to effectively solve problems. Without reason, our individuality might be lost to an army of mind-numbed cyborgs.     
      Reason enables us to question and understand the forces that shape our environment and our lives. It allows us to objectively sift through the clamor of opinions and ideas that we are bombarded with daily, in an effort to separate truth from baloney. Reason is what enables us to evaluate claims and engage in impassioned if not rigorous debates with others, cultivating open-mindedness and intellectual growth.
      Reason has played a vital role in the development of science and knowledge. For centuries, humans have used reason to hypothesize, test, experiment, and verify theories about our world and beyond. Reason has helped dispel many myths and superstitions that once dominated human existence, thereby improving our living standards and quality of life. 
      Reason is the foundation of science, which can be defined as the pursuit and application of knowledge and understanding of our natural and social world using a systematic methodology based on cogitating evidence. Scientific methodology includes the following: 1) Define a coherent question suitable for further examination  2) Obtain data for research and observation  3) Make hypotheses based on research and observations  4) Analyze and test the hypotheses 5) Offer reasonable conclusions.
      Remember Thales of Miletus? Is it reasonable to think you wondered, "Who?" Thales is credited with demonstrating that explanations of the world can be redirected from mythology toward natural philosophy. Thales suggested light does not emanate from the Moon, but is reflected from the Sun. Many think the aphorism "Know Thyself"  should be attributed to Thales. Thales recognized that water is necessary for all life, but also speculated that Earth is a large mound of dirt that floats in water. He thought that seemed reasonable.
      Galileo Galilei is known as the Father of Modern Science, who had the analytical abilities to link scientific theories with experiments drawing reasonable conclusions. Mathematics is considered the Mother of Science. The Uncle and Auntie of Science may be found in the dark back row of a discount cineplex enjoying Midnight in Paris.
      Reason has also facilitated human progress in social, civic, and political spheres. It is through reasoned thought that societies have been able to create and adopt legal and political frameworks to govern human affairs. Democratic societies have been built on the foundational premise of reasoned debate and a fair exchange of ideas as the preferred way to elicit and adjudicate public opinions.
      Reason has been a central feature of personal growth. It is an individual's capacity for reflection and thought that enables us to question our own beliefs, understandings, and values, and adjust them when necessary. Reason helps people identify their biases and prejudices, to accept and integrate new experiences, to recognize our own limitations, and to build self-esteem.
      Reason is a critical tool in human life, but as my friend, Dr. David Schwam-Baird says, reason is not our only tool. Sometimes we need a corkscrew. Sometimes we need to let our Ode to Joy lead us straight into a mess-o-glorious-love.
      Reason allows us to think, learn, and grow as individuals and communities, while enabling us to make informed decisions. To neglect reason is to live awkwardly, with a diminished capacity for human progress, comprehension, compassion, and thriving survival.
     If it is reasonable to not believe everything you think, then is it also reasonable to wonder if humanity's survival or demise has become directly linked to Artificial Intelligence? Is it reasonable to think the word "Artificial" in Artificial Intelligence is a term created by human ego, believing human intelligence is superior to Watson, Bard, ChatGPT, and others? Is it reasonable to heed the dire existential warnings of experts who helped create Artificial Intelligence? Is it reasonable to think that one day soon the self-driving EVs, led by the Musk Tesla, will employ AI capable of making existential decisions on behalf of its passengers that would make Heidegger tremble? What if one’s refrigerator had empirical observational abilities capable of snarky remarks based on its owner's food selections? Suppose the Roomba were uploaded with self-aware AI? Is it reasonable to think the little rug muncher is capable of deciding whether Fido or Pussywillow's essence of existence should be swept away into nothingness for good?
     If the defense pleads “not guilty by reason of insanity” and loses, they will appeal. They plead “not guilty by reason of insanity” on appeal. Is it reasonable to expect a different result?
      Could I have carved in granite this version of "Reason" with a beveled stone chisel? Yes. Is it reasonable to think or believe I did? No.
      I am reminded of a seasoned reporter who interviewed a 110 year old lady to learn her secret of healthy longevity. The reporter asked her, "What's your secret to living so long and looking so young?" She softly replied, "It's simple sir, I never argue with idiots." The reporter exclaimed, "Ha! That can't be the reason!" The beautiful supercentenarian said, "Okay, you're right, that's not the reason."

Seem reasonable? Send comments, questions, concerns, and well-wishes to me anytime you think it's reasonable. 

###

Ken Hurley 

The latest incarnation of Oedipus, the continued romance of Beauty and the Beast, stands this afternoon on the corner of 42nd Street and Fifth Avenue waiting for the traffic light to change.  - Joseph Campbell

This is what fools people: a man is always a teller of tales, he lives surrounded by his stories and the stories of others, he sees everything that happens to him through them; and he tries to live his life as if he were recounting it.  - Jean Paul Sartre, Nausea 

She fell off her mood swing but got back on and asked me for a push.  - personal observation 

Sometimes I question my sanity and sometimes it replies.  - personal observation 

My imaginary friends asked me to join them for a drink.  - personal observation 

This above all: to thine own self be true. - From Act 1, Scene 3, of Hamlet, spoken by Polonius to his son


AND SO IT CAME TO PASS that Chit and Chat (one of those is me) were asked to consider personal myths — stories that may have informed our personal perspective but never were — yet may speak to our essence as a human. For example, I was adopted and then raised by Goldwater Republicans (true). During my "formative years" I created a story (myth) that said I was raised by a herd of caped Corgis. I like capes. I like Corgis too. I created another myth that was less yappy and more grandiose where I saw myself somewhere between Hercules and Zeus — a small version of Superman! Reality saw me more like Jimmy Olsen, the bumbling cub reporter at The Daily Planet. I saw myself with the ability to fly faster than a speeding bullet with superhuman strength who could crush coal into diamonds with my bare hands. I especially enjoyed X-ray vision, which I used to torment my younger, late sister, Lisa, pretending I could see through her clothes. After a few months of wearing a cape and jumping from the ground two feet into the air, I grew weary of each stumbling crash landing. And so, the myth was dispelled.
      After my formative years, I became formed. More like a bundt cake than a man of steel. I eventually moved on to another equally magnificent myth. Like, simply by championing civic learning, I could change the educational perspective of Americans from lethargic, ignorant, apathetic skepticism, into a robust engagement of socio-political enlightenment. It is possible that this effort was more delusional than myth. Didn't stop me from trying; achieving some small success too. 
      I'm reminded of that weepy, ancient, pre-Socratic, philosopher's critic, Heraclitus, who was fond of repeating, “Character is destiny.” Which turns out to be a good playwriting trick. Start with your characters and they will write your play. They work for free, too. Such as it is with life, the myths or stories we tell ourselves help shape and inform our lives. Our hopes, dreams, aspirations, and worldview are essential in creating one's values, traits, and principles which influence the choices we make and therefore help manifest our destiny. 
     Is my Superman myth just a childhood fantasy? If I thought like that as an adult it would be considered a false narrative, a delusion, or a crazy fairy tale. Perhaps confirmation bias‽ Certainly not legendary.
      The human mind is a complex web of beliefs, values, and assumptions that shape our perceptions and influence our decisions. Humans are prone to forming personal myths and incorrect assumptions, which likely contribute to the development of cognitive biases. These biases are rooted in our learning processes. And, equally important, what we do not learn. Our biases have a profound impact on our understanding of the world and the way we interact with others. 
      Cognitive biases are patterns of deviation from rationality, affecting our judgments and behaviors without our awareness. These biases can arise from lazy mental shortcuts, social influences, emotional factors, and individual experiences, which fuel our predispositions and color our perceptions of the world.
      Healthy brains are wired to process information rapidly and efficiently, often relying on cognizable shortcuts to make swift judgments and decisions. While mental shortcuts can serve as practical tools for navigating complex environments, they also contribute to the formation of cognitive biases, which can lead us to make errors in judgment.
      One common cognitive bias is the confirmation bias, the tendency to search for, interpret, favor, and recall information in a way that confirms one's preexisting beliefs or hypotheses. Confirmation bias can solidify personal myths and incorrect assumptions, reinforcing our skewed perceptions of reality. For example, the character of Don Quixote in Miguel de Cervantes' novel Don Quixote, epitomizes the confirmation bias, as he persistently interprets events and encounters in ways that align with his delusional vision of chivalry and heroism. You know, tilting at windmills!
      Cognitive biases can also be shaped by social and cultural influences, fueling the perpetuation of personal myths and incorrect assumptions. In-group bias, for example, reflects our tendency to favor like-minded individuals within our own social groups while exhibiting prejudice against outsiders. Look at the dreadful and bizarro Trump phenomenon. Can you believe it? A Trump confirmation bias is a good example of a personal myth of superiority or exceptionalism. Clearly, as an individual he seeks affirmation within his social circles while disregarding and disrespecting perspectives outside of his immediate community. 
      While personal myths are often driven by positive intentions, they can lead to inaccurate assumptions and exaggerated or embellished distortions of reality. For instance, an individual may construct a personal myth of invincibility (Superman), leading them to take unnecessary risks and dismiss potential consequences. Like jumping off a table top hoping to fly. Personal myths of victimhood can perpetuate a sense of entitlement and resentment, distorting one's interactions with others and impeding personal growth. Do you know anyone who overreacts to small missteps in a huge unpleasant way and then fabricates and blames others?
      In F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby, the protagonist, Jay Gatsby, constructs a complex personal myth centered around his idealized vision of the past and his pursuit of wealth and status. Gatsby's concocted narrative about his origins and his unwavering belief in the possibility of recapturing lost love reflect his erroneous assumptions and the personal myth he has constructed to cope with his reality. The Great Gatsby focused on Fitzgerald's disillusionment with the American Dream in the hedonistic Jazz Age. Then there's George Carlin, who said of the American dream, “You have to be asleep to believe it.” 
      There is a myth with several astounding, colossal, impressive storylines that have been perpetuated throughout the ages — religion. Oh my God. Notice the phrase is “Oh my god”. The “my” makes religion an overwhelming personal myth that reeks with self-entitlement. Yet religion is also a good example of erroneous groupthink. Incorrect assumptions can lead people to do terrible things to other people. Want proof? Take a peek at the world.
      It is essential to recognize and confront our personal myths and incorrect assumptions, as well as the cognitive biases stemming from them. By cultivating mindfulness, critical thinking, and empathy, we can challenge the narratives that drive our biases and strive to embrace a more rational, compassionate, and inclusive worldview. When we take the time to examine our human experience and the complexities of the human mind, we can dispel myths that do not serve us well and shed light on the intricate interplay between personal myths, cognitive biases, and the human condition.
     But why should we? That takes effort. It's easier and often more comforting to retain personal myths, especially if they provide a sense of identity, purpose, and motivation. However, personal myths can hinder self-examination and mental health. As it is with many aspects of life, it's good to critically reevaluate beliefs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations in the effort to seek clarity and a decent ratio between personal myths and objective truths. Meanwhile, look up in the sky! It's a bird. It's a plane. Yes, it's Superman! Strange visitor from another planet, who came to Earth with powers and abilities far beyond those of mortal men. Or, is it just lil’ ol’ me, lovable goofball, living within the hazy penumbra of my shadowy personal myths? 

Ken Hurley 

Don't be stupid, you moron.  – Ben Stern to his child, Howard

What a maroon.  – Bugs Bunny

The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence.  – Charles Bukowski

Sometimes I wonder whether the world is being run by smart people who are putting us on or by imbeciles who really mean it.  – Laurence J. Peter

We keep on being told that religion, whatever its imperfections, at its least instills morality. On every side, there is conclusive evidence that the contrary is the case and that faith causes people to be more mean, more selfish, and perhaps above all, more stupid.  – Christopher Hitchens


THE ARGUMENT was among an imbecile, an idiot, and a moron, as to whether a friend of theirs was either an imbecile, an idiot, or a moron. The dispute was exacerbated by her relentless efforts to appear brighter than she actually is. They know dumb. And she is dumb. They were certain her IQ was like a shuffleboard score, -10. While her efforts to appear less doltish could be applauded, she consistently displayed a level of duncish boneheadedness that made the idiot, imbecile, and moron feel like they just won the Nobel Prize for Intellectual Superiority. But which brand of dumb was she? Due to their derogatory connotations, the terms imbecile, idiot, and moron were decommissioned during the 1960s, in favor of new terms which included various degrees of retardation, which were all later revoked in favor of "intellectual disability" or "developmentally challenged," as we say today.
      In the realm of intellectual incompetence, an idiot falls lowest on the intelligence scale. An imbecile is not quite as dumb as an idiot. And a moron has the highest level of intelligence for someone who is thought to be cognitively impaired. The idiot, imbecile, and moron still argue about where on the spectrum of human cognition their friend falls. They do not have the ability to resolve their dispute to an agreeable conclusion. So they argue. 
     We grapple with what it means to be intelligent since we seem to have a better familiarity regarding the complexities of human stupidity, which comes wrapped within our immense capacity for irrational behavior, poor decision-making, and foolishness.  
     As a recognized expert on the nature of stupid humans, the late Italian economist, Carlo Cipolla, summarized in his essay, The Basic Laws of Human Stupidity (1976): "A stupid creature will harass you for no reason, for no advantage, without any plan or scheme, and at the most improbable times and places. You have no rational way of telling if and when and how and why the stupid creature attacks. When confronted with a stupid individual you are completely at their mercy." Moreover, non-stupid people underestimate the damaging power of stupid individuals. Curiously, Carlo also surmises that a stupid person is the most dangerous type of human. Thanks for the heads up, Carlo!
     Fortunately, children don't need to be taught curiosity. If I recall correctly, curiosity is a good aid to memory too. The five-year-old is prone to ask lots of questions during her growth and learning process. The five-year-old will also repeat the same questions until her efforts at achieving alacritous acumen often become annoying to the adults around her. Good news about the five-year-old, she typically grows into her intelligence because she learns from the answers she receives. Fast-forward to adults who still believe asking lots of questions, questionable or otherwise, is akin to an inquisitive five-year-old, believing the questions asked are, in and of themselves, intelligence. It is not. The adult who asks a volley of repeated questions and has yet to learn from the answers, remains static, uninteresting, and tedious. It is the ability to learn from the answers where demonstrable intellectual prowess might be shown. To simply ask a question or many questions is not the answer, nor is it intelligence. There are thickheaded anserine questions, even if the repeated questions may be a cry for attention and understanding. A failure to learn from the answers is commonly known as stupid. Without the ability to critically think and draw reasonable conclusions from the answers derived from questions, repeated questioning is like a five year old who mindlessly stomps around the room and annoyingly keeps asking, "Why, why, why, why, why?" 
     To fully appreciate intelligence, it is essential to contrast it with its antithesis: stupidity. Stupidity can be defined as a lack of intelligence or the inability to comprehend or apply knowledge effectively. Ever try to enlarge a photo in a magazine with two fingers? Ever press the elevator button repeatedly with the hopes it will move faster? Ever talk to traffic while driving? Every walk into a room and forget why you're there? Ever try to light a cigarette with a blowtorch? Ever apologize to an inanimate object after bumping into it? Ever try to reattach fallen leaves to a tree? Remember U.S. presidential candidate Rick Perry when he infamously struggled to name the third government agency he wanted to dismantle, then said, "Oops." Ever roll your eyes in a sign of exasperated dismissive disapproval? Did you feel superior? Do you know any humans who want to kill other humans because they're on the wrong side of the border, or are deemed to be the wrong nationality, or the wrong color, or the wrong religion? Of all the life forms that exist on Earth, only humans have the power to destroy our entire ecosystem. (And, we're doing it! Seems stupid.) Ever wonder why savagely barbaric wars seem like a stupid failure of human interaction? Ever feel like you've tripped into slow cognitive decline after talking with a stupid person? Do you know any stupid people who are elected officials? A good example of functional stupidity can be found in William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet. The impulsive actions of the young lovers, driven by their lusty infatuation, ultimately led to their tragic demise. Their failure to consider the consequences of their actions, and their inability to think critically, highlight the deadly dangers of acting without intelligence.
     While knowing occasional foolishness is a part of the human condition, stupidity seems rampant. It is our ability to learn from our mistakes, challenge our own beliefs, discern facts from opinions, and grow intellectually, that distinguishes us from the imbeciles, idiots, and morons. The universality of human capacity for ignorance, irrationality, and folly can be entertaining yet sad, even deadly, as evidenced by the Darwin Awards which are "given posthumously to people who have made the supreme sacrifice to keep their genes out of our pool. Style counts, not everyone who dies from their own stupidity can win." Human stupidity highlights the need for more critical thinking, education, and an informed engaged citizenry. So, where should we look for intelligence? Is there intelligent life on Earth? Is there extraterrestrial intelligent life? Is there intelligent life in New Jersey?
       Intelligence is a complex and multifaceted concept, and has intrigued scholars, philosophers, psychologists, freethinkers, and other pontificating pundits for centuries. Intelligence can be defined as the capacity to acquire and apply knowledge, solve problems, reason logically, and adapt to new situations. Moreover, the definition of intelligence has evolved over time. Developmental Psychologist Howard Gardner, in his 1983 book, Frames of Mind: The Theory of Multiple Intelligences, proposed a theory of many types of intelligences. He suggests that intelligence encompasses various domains, including linguistic, logical-mathematical, spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, interpersonal, intrapersonal, and naturalistic intelligences.
    In its satirical effort, The Peter Principle, Laurence J. Peter and Raymond Hull (1969), explains how in any human hierarchy, people will rise no further than their level of incompetence. The authors conclude by applying their principle to the totality of humanity, wondering whether humans will survive or become extinct upon reaching humanity's natural level of anticipated incompetence as technology advances. Hello, A.I.!
      Literature provides a rich tapestry of characters who exemplify different forms of intelligence. In Arthur Conan Doyle's Sherlock Holmes series, the titular detective showcases exceptional deductive reasoning and logical-mathematical intelligence. His ability to solve intricate mysteries through keen observation and astute analysis demonstrates his intellectual excellence.
      In Mary Shelley's Frankenstein, the creature, despite his foreboding physical appearance, exhibits emotional intelligence and a desire for knowledge. He learns to read, comprehend complex ideas, and express himself eloquently. However, his lack of social intelligence and inability to navigate human relationships ultimately leads to his tragic downfall.
      Another literary example of intelligence can be found in J.R.R. Tolkien's, The Lord of the Rings. The character Gandalf, a wandering, white-bearded, grey-cloaked, knowledgeable and wise wizard with a staff and large hat, possesses not only intellectual intelligence but also emotional intelligence. He understands the motivations and fears of those around him, guiding, persuading, and inspiring them to overcome challenges associated with countering the Dark Lord Sauron.
      In H.G. Wells', The War of the Worlds, humanity faces an alien invasion that showcases the stark contrast between the advanced civilization of the Martians and the vulnerability of humans. This work not only highlights our fascination with extraterrestrial life, but also reflects our anxieties about encountering beings more advanced than ourselves, while discussing themes of prejudice, evolution, and imperialism.
      Similarly, Arthur C. Clarke's Childhood's End presents a more benevolent scenario in which aliens known as the Overlords guide humanity toward a new era of peace and prosperity. But at what cost? Clarke's novel delves into philosophical questions and explores the implications of interacting with highly intelligent extraterrestrial beings, addressing themes of evolution, transformation, creativity, innovation, and the cyclical nature of existence, including the ultimate demise of the known world.
    In George Orwell's dystopian novel 1984, as told by the protagonist Winston Smith, Orwell unveils the collective stupidity of a society that is manipulated and willingly embraces its own oppression. The novel highlights the dangers of blind adherence to dogma and the suppression of critical thinking, challenging readers to examine their own beliefs and behaviors.
      Throughout history, numerous individuals have left an indelible mark on the world through their exceptional intelligence. Albert Einstein, renowned for his contributions to theoretical physics, revolutionized our understanding of the universe. His intellectual brilliance, characterized by his ability to think abstractly and formulate groundbreaking theories, earned him the Nobel Prize in Physics.
      Marie Curie, a pioneering scientist, exemplified intelligence through her groundbreaking research on radioactivity. Her relentless pursuit of knowledge and her ability to apply scientific principles led to her discovery of two new elements, polonium and radium, and earned her two Nobel Prizes in Physics and Chemistry.
      In Stephen Hawking's book, A Brief History of Time (1988), he discusses in an easy reading manner for the novice to physics, the study of the origin, evolution, and finality of Earth and the Universe. Fun for the whole family! He writes that the type of theoretical issues he discusses in his book were originally an early attempt by others to understand some of the mysteries of life through philosophical and religious insights, with the effort to explain the nature of God or if God exists. However, Hawking prefers to examine these theories with mathematical calculations and empirical observations, rather than through a religious or philosophical approach. Hawking expresses hope that everybody will have at least a rudimentary understanding and willingness to discuss theories of cosmology in an effort to understand the true origin and nature of the Universe. As he said, "If we find the answer to that [why it is that we and the universe exist], it would be the ultimate triumph of human reason — for then we would know the mind of God." And, Hawking was an atheist! To explain complex ideas in simple terms as Hawking does, is intelligence.
      Cinematic portrayals of intelligent life have alternated between dark and optimistic depictions. In Ridley Scott's Alien franchise, humanity encounters frighteningly ugly, aggressive, parasitic extraterrestrial species. These films play into our fears of the unknown and remind us of our vulnerability in the face of an advanced and malevolent civilization.
      Steven Spielberg's film E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial offers a more heartwarming portrayal of intelligent extraterrestrial life. "E.T. phone home." Through the character of E.T., Spielberg evokes a sense of wonder, showcasing themes of separation, alienation, the transformative power of human connection, and the possibility of harmonious coexistence.
      In the movie Idiocracy, directed by Mike Judge, an average Joe is put to sleep in the government's Hibernation Project and wakes up  500 years later to discover he is the smartest man alive in a world dominated by idiocy and ignorance. This satirical depiction serves as a commentary on the potentially self-destructive trajectory of humankind, highlighting the consequences of intellectual apathy and the commodification of stupidity.
      But what about New Jersey? Is there intelligent life in the Garden State? I don't know. There is Chris Christie, who remains too big for his bridges.
      Is there actually extraterrestrial intelligent life? I hope so. The Allen Telescope Array project, part of the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence (SETI), wants to answer this question in the affirmative with fact-based findings. The odds are overwhelmingly in favor that there is intelligent life elsewhere in the Universe. It is even likely that what the Earthlings consider intelligent today may make us look dumber than a bag of hammers by comparison after we discover other forms of intelligent life. Especially since, as you know, the word 'phonetically' doesn't even begin with 'F'. That's enough to cause extraterrestrial intelligent life to take a hard pass on humans. The SETI initiative signifies the scientific interest in finding intelligent life somewhere, anywhere. (They haven't yet begun looking in New Jersey.) Also SETI demonstrates the commitment of researchers to expand our understanding of the universe, and maybe even one day in other unexpected locations like Hoboken.
      Intelligence is a multifaceted concept which encompasses various domains and manifests differently in individuals. The diverse dimensions of intelligence range from logical-mathematical and emotional intelligence to linguistic and spatial intelligence. We may have a slightly better understanding of intelligence knowing that critical thinking is essential to human success, especially when we  compare intelligence with the vast array of human stupidity and the many potential dire consequences of acting without intelligence. As our understanding of intelligence continues to evolve, it is crucial to recognize and appreciate the complexity and diversity of human cognition. And, lack thereof.
     Which reminds me: An imbecile, an idiot, and a moron walk into a New Jersey bar. The bartender says, "Ah, déjà poo, the same old crap again." Then asks, "Where's Dumb and Dumber?" The moron replies, "Dumb and Dumber are busy laughing all the way to the bank making millions in Hollywood." To which the bartender mutters, "Imagine the surprise Descartes felt when he realized that people who don't think exist too and sometimes do amazingly well."
      As for me, I feel that I vacillate around the entirety of the intellectual vs. dumber spectrum. I'm no genius, not even a smarty-pants. I've been called a wise guy, but I suppose that's preferable to being called a dumb ass. Our feisty Granny was known to quote the following, whose ascription is unknown to me: "See the happy moron, he doesn't give a damn, I wish I were a moron, Dear God, perhaps I am." After some consideration, I believe I'm just smart enough to know I've left myself plenty of room for improvement. 
###

- Ken Hurley

GRATITUDE IS A transcendent emotion that resides at the core of human connection, intertwining cultures and societies across the globe. By understanding the power of gratitude and acknowledging its opposition — hate — we can cultivate empathy, foster harmonious relationships, and contribute positively to our world.
      Gratitude is often expressed deeply on Thanksgiving, a widely celebrated secular holiday in the United States, dedicated to expressing appreciation for an  abundance of food and drink, Pepto Bismol, family, friends, booze, and gummies. Gratitude is a universal sentiment that transcends cultural, religious, secular, and geographic boundaries. Along with Thanksgiving, there are many other secular and religious observances that express gratitude, including New Year's Day, World Gratitude Day, Sukkot, Eid al-Fitr, and Pongal!
      New Year's Day is celebrated around the world with great enthusiasm, some reflection, and lots of fireworks, for which pet owners are not so grateful.
      Observed on September 21st, World Gratitude Day is a secular celebration that encourages individuals to express gratitude for the positive aspects of their lives. I'll wager many people are unaware of World Gratitude Day. It serves as a reminder to appreciate the simple joys, express gratitude towards others, and foster a sense of interconnectedness. This day promotes the idea that gratitude can lead to a happier and more fulfilling life. Pet owners are grateful there are no fireworks.
      Sukkot is a Jewish holiday that commemorates the forty years the Israelites spent wandering in the desert after their exodus from Egypt. During this week-long celebration, families build temporary shelters called sukkahs and eat meals inside them. This practice symbolizes the Israelites' reliance on God's protection during their journey. Sukkot emphasizes gratitude for the harvest and the shelter provided by God. It also encourages individuals to appreciate the impermanence of material possessions and focus on spiritual growth. And, no fireworks.
      Eid al-Fitr is a significant Islamic holiday that marks the end of Ramadan, a month of fasting and prayer. It is a time of joy and celebration where Muslims express gratitude for the strength and discipline to complete the fast. Families gather for communal prayers, exchange gifts, and share meals. This celebration reinforces gratitude for the blessings of food, family, and community. And, no fireworks.
      Pongal is a Tamil harvest festival celebrated in South India. It is a four-day celebration that expresses gratitude for a bountiful harvest. The highlight of Pongal is the preparation of a special dish called Pongal, made from freshly harvested rice, lentils, and jaggery. The dish is cooked outdoors, symbolizing gratitude towards the sun and nature's abundance. Pongal also includes traditional games, music, and dance, fostering a sense of community and gratitude for the blessings of the harvest. You guessed it, no fireworks!
      Here's a kaboom waiting to happen for which I have no gratitude. Our newest Speaker of the House, Mike Johnson, a lawyer and former spokesman for the Alliance Defending Freedom organization, which was designated by the Southern Poverty Law Center as an anti-LGBTQ hate group, is also an election denier — not just an election denier, but a subversive congressional architect of the effort to overturn the 2020 election. He's an anti-choice, anti-science, anti-intellectual, religious zealot, who believes Noah's ark is factual but climate change is a media-driven hoax. He's a "great replacement" conspiracy theorist. He has described the Declaration of Independence as a “religious statement of faith.” In his first interview as speaker, Mike Johnson described himself to Sean Hannity (FOX News) as a "Bible-believing Christian." He said, to understand him and his politics, just “pick up a Bible off your shelf and read it. That’s my worldview.” He has blamed gun violence on the human heart, feminism, teaching evolution, and turning away from God (his god, of course.) You want to know what this right-wing, white male, ultra conservative, has never blamed regarding the consistent tragedy that is gun violence in America? Guns. Americans have nearly unlimited access to guns. The right wing fanatics stroke their love affair with gun culture while legislatures continue their failure to enact common sense firearm legislation. These "Thoughts and Prayers" do-nothings are now championing "mental illness" as the common theme regarding America's epidemic gun violence. I politely say, WTF‽ Why is it that "mental illness" hardly massacres anyone in the United Kingdom, Australia, Canada, Ireland, Italy, Germany, Japan, Thailand, Norway, Switzerland, Sweden, Korea, Turkey, Qatar, Scotland, or Spain? I could go on, but you get the idea. It's the guns. And, our decades-long legislative failure to act. 
      While I believe gratitude is a wonderful attribute for us to demonstrate, hate and revenge are also powerful emotions that can have devastating consequences for individuals and societies. Hate and revenge breed animosity, which can lead to the breakdown of trust, understanding, and create a mess of perpetual injustice. Individuals, communities, or nations divided by hate and revenge struggle to find common ground, hindering progress and cooperation. Hate and revenge often fuel a cycle of violence, perpetuating a never-ending circle of harm. Revenge can lead to an ongoing quest for retribution, causing further harm to all parties involved. Holding onto hate and seeking revenge can consume individuals, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and depression, and even the desire to kill. These negative emotions prevent individuals from finding peace, happiness, and restorative justice. 
      Society, cultures, and religions may even glorify revenge, portraying it as a means of achieving justice. The pressure to conform to societal, cultural, or religious norms can make it difficult to reject revenge, as that may be seen as a sign of weakness encompassing the fear of vulnerability. But how does one let go of anger, resentment, and hate in the effort to forgive another for killing your child or other loved ones, and swears to kill you too? Forgiving those who have wronged us requires vulnerability and immense internal fortitude. It is difficult, and for many, impossible. The fear of being hurt or wronged again, makes it challenging to let go of hate, seek forgiveness, and cultivate empathy and understanding. Hate and revenge pose significant dangers to individuals, cultures, and societies by perpetuating violence, destroying relationships, people, towns, cities, and countries. Any efforts that we can make that lead us to a kinder, peaceful, and more harmonious world, free from the destructive forces of hate and revenge, are of course, lauded and desperately needed. I'll ask again, how does one let go of anger, resentment, and hate in the effort to forgive another for killing your child or other loved ones and swears to kill you too? But then, when has hate ever been an effective solution to human interactions? Does Steven Wright's quip, "I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize," reflect the human condition?
      I'm also reminded of the song from South Pacific by Rodgers and Hammerstein, "Carefully Taught" whose lyrics are: "You’ve got to be taught to hate and fear, You’ve got to be taught from year to year, It’s got to be drummed in your dear little ear — You’ve got to be carefully taught." Today, I wonder whether we learn hate and fear, or how much is hate and fear in our genetics? That's another long discussion.
     I wish there were fewer troubling situations around the world for which I can not find gratitude. I wish a strong condemnation of war mongers and political thugs were all we need for people to cease their desire to kill and put down their weapons. Sometimes the simplest solution is the best. Regrettably, there is nothing simple about the human mind when it becomes obsessed with strong, angry, unworthy, hateful feelings that impel one toward something, that is in reality or the imagination, attainable.
      To "hope and wish" is similar to "thoughts and prayers." Nothing changes without action. But, what to do? We can vote. We can lead by example. We can support organizations that promote human welfare, reason, peace, and goodwill, while rejecting hate and destructive fanaticism in all its ugly forms, religious or other.
      Meanwhile, please know, everything is just a bit better because of you.

   With gratitude,
    me

by  Ken Hurley

False beliefs can be every bit as consoling as true ones, right up until the moment of disillusionment.  – Richard Dawkins

Seeking first to understand isn't about who's right or wrong; it is a philosophy of effective communication. – Richard Carlson

Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.  – Leo Tolstoy

It is very unnerving to be proven wrong, particularly when you are really right and the person who is really wrong is proving you wrong and proving himself, wrongly, right. – Lemony Snicket

The news is glorified gossip. – Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Today, I got up on the wrong side of the bed. Got off on the wrong foot. Got the wrong end of the stick. Barked up the wrong tree. Left the wrong impression. Made a wrong turn. Went one way the wrong way. Found myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. Where I figured out what’s wrong with my brain. On the left side, there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.
      One day I met my young friend Miggy as he paced up and down the sidewalk and was obviously distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned. I asked, "What's wrong, Miggy?" He said, "I'm distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned. Today is the 2nd day of the 2nd month in 2022 and I just turned 22 so I placed a bet and put $2,222 on the second horse in the second race of the day to win. "Ok, Miggy. So what's wrong?" "The horse came in second."
      Right and wrong are perpetual and oftentimes frustrating balancing acts that pervade nearly every aspect of our lives, requiring contemplation and self-reflection. From our daily interactions with others to matters of ethics and morality, the line between right and wrong can be as blurry as Mr. J. Quincy Magoo's vision, and subject to interpretation. The complexities of determining what is right and wrong are evident in personal relationships, politics, our courts, healthcare, sports, nearly everywhere. How we admit when we are wrong, and what we do about it, speaks to our character. So, is there a right way to be wrong?       
      Since the beginning of thought, the question of ascertaining a clear difference between right and wrong has perplexed philosophers,  thinkers, non-thinkers, and the rest of us. Our moral compass, similar to the compass the Scouts use only with a moral north star, engages our reasoning abilities, values, beliefs, and cultural context; yet sometimes, when we are wrong, we feel guilt, regret, shame, and downright awful when our wrongdoings or poor decisions are injurious to ourselves or others. 
     Our actions have consequences that may be judged as right or wrong based on their outcomes. For example, Oskar Schindler, a member of the Nazi Party, prioritized saving Jewish lives during the Holocaust, even while risking his own prosperity and life. Schindler's moral compass was oriented towards something greater than his political party ideology. His actions challenged the prevailing notions of right and wrong in Nazi Germany. The consequences of his actions proved Mr. Schindler to be right. 
      One of the most influential frameworks for understanding right and wrong is found in the nebulous philosophical concept of ethics, which seeks to define the line between good and evil, right and wrong, virtue and vice, justice and crime, Tom and Jerry, Ben and Jerry, Bruce and Catlin, and more. Is there a right way to be wrong, is a philosophical query that can be answered, nope. Or, it depends. Or, of course! And end it there. Thank you. And good night.
     However, there are way too many thoughts, free or other, regarding "right," "wrong," and self-reflection, especially after one realizes one’s own transgressions or errors. So, I'll persevere with the hope I'm not wrong. And if I am wrong, who really cares? Or rather, I hope to find a way to offer an acceptable apology beyond "Oops, my bad."
      Typically, we strive to do the best we can with all life brings our way. When we fall short of our best, we try again until we get it right. Or as close to right as time and effort allow. The notion of making mistakes is often viewed unfavorably. The transformative and redemptive power of acknowledging and embracing our mistakes may be essential to minimize those awful feelings of guilt, shame, and regret. On balance, if our decision-making is more favorable than wretched, we're probably doing just fine on the right/wrong barometer.
      To truly grasp the concept of a right way to be wrong, we must recognize the paradoxical nature of making mistakes. While errors are often perceived as negative and undesirable, they also provide invaluable opportunities for growth, transformation, and critical self-reexamination.
     Thomas Edison's quote, “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work,” is a good reminder that errors are not the end, but the beginning of a journey toward success. He also famously said, "Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time."
      The ability to accept responsibility for our mistakes is an essential component of learning and growth. For example, if the manager at The Lazy-A Canteen makes a poor decision that negatively impacts his team or customers, he may lose his job if he does not acknowledge his mistake, apologize, and take the necessary steps to rectify the situation. By accepting responsibility, one fosters an environment of trust and transparency. This creates an opportunity for growth and improvement which demonstrates one "right" way to be wrong.
      In Dostoevsky's novel, Crime and Punishment, the protagonist, Raskolnikov, murders and then steals from his victims. He views himself as an extra-special, extraordinary man, therefore he feels he could commit any crime, even murder, and walk away from it without any sense of guilt, shame, or regret. Reminds me of President 45. However, unlike 45, as the consequences of his actions begin to unfold, he gradually recognizes the wicked error of his ways. His subsequent ethical transformation and genuine remorse exemplify another "right" way to be wrong. Raskolnikov embarks on a path of redemption and personal growth, ultimately accepting responsibility for his crime and seeking atonement. Although he does get eight years of hard labor in Siberia.
      In Harper Lee's, To Kill a Mockingbird, Atticus Finch illustrates another "right" way to be wrong. As a lawyer, who defends an innocent black man against racial prejudice in deeply segregated Alabama, he embodies virtues such as empathy, courage, and integrity. Atticus's unwavering commitment to justice reflects the internal dispositions that distinguish right from wrong, despite the immense criticism and adversity he faces. His commitment to justice serves as a powerful testament to the idea that doing the right thing is sometimes synonymous with being considered wrong by the majority.
      Spike Lee's 1989 film, Do the Right Thing, depicts how dead wrong human tensions, poor communication, and violent struggles can be when people fail to do the right thing.
      Another compelling example is the Disney animated feature, The Lion King. Simba, the young lion who flees after believing he is responsible for his father's death, spends years living in self-imposed exile. However, through the guidance of his wise mentors and a series of introspective realizations, Simba learns to accept responsibility for his past actions. By returning to his pride and challenging the tyrannical reign of his uncle Scar, Simba ultimately embodies the "right" way to be wrong. He embraces his mistakes, takes responsibility for his role, and strives to make amends for the betterment of his community.
      Sometimes our mistakes are met with a shrug and the admonition, "Whoops, I goofed." Other times our blunders are so serious that we must let others know we screwed up. Then accept our errors as our own, thereby offering opportunities for growth, transformation, and redemption. There is worthy significance when we recognize our wrongdoings, accept responsibility, offer authentic apologies to those we've hurt, and actively seek personal growth. By embracing our mistakes, we gain indispensable insights into our flaws, beliefs, and values, which ultimately aid us in becoming better versions of ourselves. To admit when we are wrong necessitates humility and empathetic courage to reassess our actions. To adhere to a "right" way to be wrong necessitates recognizing the inherent potential in our mistakes. Our ability to navigate the intricate gray areas between right and wrong allows us to grow as individuals and contribute positively to a more just and compassionate society. (Cue the Gospel Choir crescendo.)
      One more thought from the old leaky thought bucket, me. Suppose you are wrongly the subject of negative whispers and rumors or misinformed gossip that has unfairly tarnished your spotless stellar reputation. Or suppose you discover that your beloved superstar idol is only one more disillusioned flawed human stumbling around the planet. Or suppose you were raised religiously, and it suddenly dawns on you that religions need fictitious fabrications to keep their brand alive. Or suppose you awake one day on the right side of the bed with a burning urge to funk your angst.
     Each scenario can create a sense of being distraught, disenchanted, and disillusioned, when positive assumptions or deeply held beliefs are shattered. Disillusionment can create a confused, disconnected, lost feeling. Last I checked, 113% of people with actual feelings don't like that. We know some people create and spread disinformation with the intent to deceive and hurt people.  A twinge of schadenfreude may even swell within. That's wrong. Others spread misinformation and gossip who may not know the information is false. That's lazy and wrong. It is important to verify first. But if you're the subject of malevolent gossip that you'd like to correct it is equally important to confirm your suspicion before wagging the long finger of indignation which regrettably, too often, points directly towards alienation. Fact-check the information yourself. Then politely grok, that's right, grok (a nostalgic bit of fustian flummery), grok as best you can, a perspicacious perspective. Show gentle strength. If that doesn't ameliorate the situation, you can always do what many juveniles do — never speak to that person again. Ostracizing behavior is what quitters do and is akin to revenge, which is also wrong and reminds me of what Mohandas Gandhi said, "An eye for an eye and the whole world goes blind." 
      Hope all this chit-chat doesn't rub you the wrong way. On second thought, perhaps there really isn't a "right" way to be wrong. Only a preferred way; but maybe I'm wrong. And, if deemed as such by the gentle reader, what say you?
Send comments be they right or wrong to kenhurley88@gmail.com